busy bee

I have no idea what am I doing here.

I have a biology and physics test tomorrow, an entire chapter of vectors which i have yet to study, an upcoming interview on Monday and the major mock exam which is designed to kill unsuspected students in less than 10 days and i'm here blogging.

God.

Time passes so quickly. It's already March and a full year since I took my SPM results. I can't believe I'm already nineteen (well, 18+ to be more precise) and am gonna be an university student very soon. I wish time would just slow down a little so I could catch up. Right now, I'm trying my very best to keep up with time but so far I kind of failed miserably.

To be honest, just thinking of my future scares me. Before, I was extremely determined to pursue medicine but now to be honest, I'm not too sure. One thing is my grades. I didn't meet my expectation for my last examination and to be honest, it tore me into pieces. Not to be boastful, but  I scored pretty well for all the previous major examinations.. but now, it's just terrible. and it's super competitive to gain admission to universities as there are admission tests and interviews.

I am now struggling to cope with the studies and this left me pondering whether pursuing medicine is the right choice. I mean, if i can't even cope now, how on earth am I going to cope the next 10 years of studying?

The worst thing is I don't have any backup plans. I considered pharmacy, but the thought of being stuck in a pharmacy all day long and doing nothing but prescribing medicine to old ladies deterred me. Dentistry seems good but besides being more competitive than medicine, I have a HUGE HUGE HUGE phobia to dentists.

Let's face it. Dentists are plain scary! The teeth drillers and teeth scraper and the water sprayer (lol what are those called again?) are enough to send chills down my spine. Heck, even entering the clinic is traumatic for me. I need at least a day to mentally prepare myself for a checkup and I was often plagued with killer dentists nightmares the day before. OMG.

So yeap, dentistry is out. I don't want to hate myself.  hahahahaha

Well, all I can do now is to STAY POSITIVE! :) I believe there's still hope and it's not the end of the world.... yet. (2012!) till then, i'll try my very best and hopefully things will work out in the end.  :)

Good luck to everyone out there and all the best yo! (: